Chapter 9: Recovering a Sense of Compassion

Keep going! Only 3 more chapters to go... which will mark the very first time I've made it all the way through The Artist's Way. We can totally do this!

DON'T TURN BACK NOW! That's the main gist of Chapter 9, actually. Julia shares lots of stories of people who consciously (or unconsciously) sabotage their creative lives. There are all sorts of ways that fear can start to undermine what we're doing. It can present itself in different forms but when it comes down to it, it's just plain ol' fear. I've totally felt it... during Chapter 7, during Chapter 8 and now. This is the part where Coehlo's "Beginner's Luck" starts to run out and you are running and running and thinking omg, what was I thinking? There's no end to this. I should just go back over there to my cozy little box and screw this Hero's Journey nonsense! That's for the movies! The real deal is way to hard, long, scary.

Stick with it.

Speaking of Hero's Journey, there's actually a part of that cycle that's called Crossing the First Threshold. Perhaps this is it, the time when you meet some resistance that tests your commitment to the transformation you wished for. It's when the universe tests you, saying Are you for real? If you're for real, you'll keep going.

Keep going!

I'm going to keep going. I hope you will to.

p.s. Wait. Where's the compassion part? It's in calling a spade a spade... you're NOT lazy or unfocused or not committed or whatever judgements you are throwing at yourself right now about your artistic/creative life. You're AFRAID! Call it what it is: FEAR. Name your fears, bring them into the light, love them and KEEP GOING! :D You've got this.

She says. To herself.

DAY 5: Watercolor Flower

Continuing with the spring theme. #48dayscreative

DAY 4: Feathering the Nest

Day 4 of #48dayscreative 

It's SPRING, right?

DAY 3: Nautical Party Decorations

DAY 2: 48 Days of Creative Devotion

I know, I know... one more thing?!
I'm telling you, I'm serious about #CRAFT!

What Leigh of All Creativelike said on her blog post really resonated with me:

I learned that sometimes when you really, really don’t feel like making anything, you make your best work. I learned that the combo of consistency and visibility lead to greater prosperity. I learned that creative devotion allows for new ideas to bubble up and new threads to be explored. And, I learned that just showing up and starting was a huge part of an artist’s job.

So, I'm in. This is actually DAY 2:

My DAY 1 is here.

DAY 1

Day 1 of #48dayscreative is a design/illustration I did for Minted's Moving Announcement Challenge.

Chapter 8: Recovering a Sense of Strength

Here I am, writing my morning pages day after day (for the most part). Ninety nine percent of the time they make no sense. Mostly, they are a brain dump of to-do lists and even grocery lists. Sometimes they are total rants about stuff that frustrates me but would be completely unproductive to say out loud. They are not “creative,” they are not intentionally about nurturing creativity. But something is happening.

I think of the shift as mostly internal but in fact, things are actually happening… like, in the real world!
1. I am slowly and surely creating a body of work.
2. I have an Etsy store now (which I started just for accountability) with 50+ listings.
3. I am establishing a unique recognizable style.
4. I have sold 40+ prints online and off and even more exciting, my customers are so happy with the end product. I’ve even had a few repeat customers!
5. I also earned my storefront on Minted, which is still in process but getting there.

I’m getting a lot of validation—which is huge for my baby artist. It’s probably the most I’ve ever received for my art. And truly, that began... with me... and the morning pages... and the artist’s dates... and the fake-it-tip-you-make-it-faith-in-myself enough into making this thing as a priority.

All of this came up for me in Chapter 8—the realization of how much I have subjugated my passion to anything and anyone that has ever asked (or demanded) my time, energy and attention. I can see my pattern of wanting to please and wanting harmony and wanting to be supportive and wanting to do "the right thing" for what it is also—an excuse for me not to face my fear of rejection and keep that Art Dream up high on the shelf to save for later when I’m old and have time for such foolishness.

It’s not so easy, when there is the serious task of “being a grown-up” to attend to, especially a grown-up with my own kids to nurture. But the truth is, it is not impossible either (although the world/culture/people like to say otherwise). But first off, I have to want this dream and I have to really protect it. I'm finding that whatever issue I'm working out in this process is giving me the strength to stick to it.

In Chapter 8, Julia invites us to re-parent ourselves. That’s HUGE! In all the self-development/healing circles I’ve been in, this is it. Our early foundational relationships color everything.

Perhaps this is why I take my job as mom so seriously. I want to give my kids their best chance. That’s what it was all for… the divorce, the cultivation my tribe, the move, the job… and the extreme discomfort of working out my own crap. Truly. Even this art thing is for this purpose to some extent. I mean, how can I tell them to go for their dreams if I won’t do it for myself?!?!?

Funny, what you do for offspring.

So our marching orders for Chapter 8 are as follows:
1. Name your dream
2. Write down a tangible/measurable goal (that signifies that you have achieved it)
3. Do ONE thing. Every. Day. To move yourself closer to that dream.
Go!

Some of my stuff so far...

Chapter 7: Recovering a Sense of Connection

 Ahhhhhhhh! Recovering a sense of connection. THAT is what this week's chapter is about and that explains all sorts of things that are happening in my life re: what's really really important to me and what are non-negotiables for my family, my relationships, my daily experience. It's so good. And yet so hard! There's the added bonus of doing The Artist's Way, friends! Eek!

So the great thing about doing these posts is not only that I actually do them (although a few days late) but that I actually reflect on the chapter. How does that saying go? It's not "You teach what you most need to learn, although that is true." It's more like teaching forces you to learn! ;P

I love what Julia says in this chapter about creativity NOT being about thinking something up as much as getting something down... dipping into the river of all this stuff just waiting to be written/drawn/painted/danced! Listening.

I experienced that this week. I gave myself a "minted-style" assignment to design an invitation and was totally and completely stuck. Until I stopped trying to think it up! Thinking was exactly the thing that was holding me back. When I get in my head, there's all sorts of chatter up there that tries to analyze why something is not good enough or calculating and analyzing a hundred different ways to do it that will protect myself from doing the wrong thing so that I end up not doing anything at all!!! You don't do that, do you?

I can totally see how being a Creative Director killed my creativity -- in the name of excellent client service! It's why the thought of being a corporate designer again makes me kinda want to puke in my mouth. This is why I really, really love my day job. It saves me from sabotaging my art. Does that make sense?

I don't want to turn that part of my brain on in that way. I have to hold this art thing so lightly -- like a little bird in my hand.

So here's the question for the week: what would you do if you didn't have to do it perfectly?
And my own litmus test, what feels like a good idea?

I really liked some of Julia's hit-and-run tasks too... things that you do quickly without much thought and then reflect on later. It's a fabulous way to unearth patterns and hidden drivers and I love stuff like that.
1. Getting a stack of random magazines and tearing out pictures that reflect your life and interests. Set a timer for 20 minutes and rip away, collecting things that you are drawn to intuitively.
2. Quick, list your 5 favorite movies. Your five favorite songs. Your five favorite books.
3. List your favorite topics to read about (what headlines do you click on online)? :)

Little exercises like this are ways that we connect with our intuition. It's nice to let our intuition drive the car once in awhile. For me, I hardly ever let that part get any air-time so when it happens, I'm actually a little surprised where she takes me.