Monday, February 23, 2015

Chapter 6: Recovering a Sense of Abundance

This week you tackle a major creative block—money. You are asked to really look at your own ideas around God, money, and creative abundance. Th essays will explore the ways in which your attitudes limit abundance and luxury in your current life. You will be introduced to counting, a block-busting tool for clarity and right use of funds. This week may feel volatile.

There you have it. Week 6 is rich!!!! ;P

Our morning pages assignment is to write about the God we believe in.

Who is the God I believe in?
I believe that God actually does listen. And that's what freaks me out. I feel like God answers prayers and it's my own limited perspective and/or limitations or brokenness or whatever that messes me up. God gives me what I ask for sometimes... that's the problem... I get enough rope to hang myself! :) ... which is why I am so gun shy on wishing. Be careful what you wish for, and all that.

Of course, there are times when I've prayed so earnestly for something and have NOT gotten what I've wanted. In those times, I wonder if that's because God knows better (see above). So my issues around God are not exactly the ones Julia talks about in Chapter 6 re: God's will and ours being at opposite ends of the table.

What kind of God would I like to believe in?
The kind that has my back, that isn't just going to let me all crazy in the candy store. You know, Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans that I have for you...." one that reassures me all I need to do is keep showing up in the world as myself, staying true to my values and that somehow, the lights will stay on, I can put food on the table, straighten my kids teeth and buy them both ponies! Just kidding about the ponies.

I want a God on my side. I wonder what what choices I would make if I believed this, for reals.

Tasks
1. Counting: Write down every. single. penny you spend. See how long you can do this... maybe for the next month. Notice the patterns and what this reveals about you to yourself. What do you value in terms of your spending? How does that align with your values. Remember your boundaries... what's inside and outside of your circles? Are you surprised that you spend money on things that you don't cherish? And deny yourself things that are important to you?

2. Luxury: What feels luxurious to you? A bath, a piece of chocolate, clean sheets, listening to music? I listened to an interview with one of the richest men on the planet who, not surprisingly, lived very simply. He said something along the lines of the things he enjoyed most of all were free: reading a book, listening to music, engaging in interesting conversations.

Along these lines, one of Julia's tasks for us is to receive some natural abundance: find an interesting rock, one each day. It's winter so flowers won't be easy to find in most of North America right now but maybe seed pods or acorns. Send cards to five friends you'd love to hear from—yes, with a stamp.

We cling to our financial concerns as a way to avoid not only our art but also our spiritual growth. Our faith is in the dollar.
~Julia Cameron

p.s. A scan from my sketchbook. I little preview of things to come...




Saturday, February 21, 2015

Still Here.

It's been a crazy week. Everyone was sick. But for accountabilities sake, I wanted to post what I've been up to. I finished this piece last weekend:


I also asked Henry to help me with new product shots for my Etsy store. These are just a couple. It's a different kind of creativity but it was really fun trying my hand at merchandising and "display." I tried to think of my shop as an actual storefront... and what would draw shoppers into the store.




Take a look at the new storefront. Oh yeah, I made a new banner too. 



Monday, February 16, 2015

Chapter 5: “Pray to catch the bus then run as fast as you can.”

Creativity is a spiritual issue. This.
This here, my friends, is the crux of Chapter 5. And probably why I’m having all sorts of issues writing about it. The title of the chapter is Recovering a Sense of Possibility and that is tied up with all sorts of other things like worthiness and propriety and faith....

This may be where I throw in the towel and say, yeah, you should go buy the book because I’m not going to come close to doing it justice. I’ll do my best.

I supposed there’s no way to write about creativity without reference to the Creator–with a capital C. Perhaps you know this feeling too when you are writing, singing, painting, dancing—of not being the only one it the room. According to Julia, this is where our sense of possibility comes from, the belief that we are not limited by our own abilities. Through our connection to Source, we are truly unlimited! Our job is to tap into that river of possibility.

In order for me to recover this sense of possibility, I have to accept that I have access to this unlimited supply, just like you or anyone else does. Any limitations I have are based on a belief system of scarcity and lack that I’ve inherited or learned. This, Julia says, is not natural and not real.

But I do get some kind of secondary benefit(s) from maintaining this belief system. So the task of this chapter is to unearth the ways I sabotage myself to stay stuck. Hmmmm.

If I stay stuck then...
I suppose I wouldn’t have to put my art out there and have it be rejected.
I wouldn’t have to turn my art into work.
I wouldn’t have to take this thing that I loved and “produce it” to death (as Ira Glass says).
I would have to be a grown-up artist, whatever that is.
I might have to embrace an artist’s life, and you know I had/have all those ideas about what that is.
I also might have to give up some stuff... like acceptance and belonging. Whut?

Our culture puts a lot of value in being nice, good, unselfish, helpful. We give up so much of ourselves, our energy, our time just so that we can be perceived by our spouses, children, co-workers and parents as... those things. But at what cost? If we are not conscious of it, at the cost of our art and that true self of ours. I guess that’s why so many artists are known for being curmudgeony hermits! This is all in the book, I swear.

So if I were to pretend for a minute that I’m NOT nice or good but rather selfish and unhelpful, what would I do?

These are the questions Julia asks of us. If you are doing this, speed write your answers — quickly, answer as fast as you can, no editing allowed!

• What are five things I would try if they weren’t so crazy?
• What are five things I would do if they weren’t too selfish?
• What are 5 things I love and would love to do but am not allowed to do.

And, finish this sentence.... 20 times!

I wish ___________________________________________

This list of “forbidden joys” is your true self talking. Is it surprising? Julia says she’s astonished at how mean and miserly her students are to themselves!!!

So by doing stuff like writing down wish lists down and entertaining possibilities (yes, daydreaming) Julia says we begin to reconnect with Source and thus, creativity. I know, I keep saying "Julia says" because in all honestly, I’m a work in progress on this. I am a teeter totter, going from extremes of faith and doubt.

The only thing I seem to do consistently is just show up: writing, drawing, making.

“Pray to catch the bus then run as fast as you can.” I can do that. This is, after all, my theme word for 2015: Craft.

I can keep running.
When the bus shows up, I'm always a little surprised. :)

Monday, February 9, 2015

Chapter 4: Where the Rubber Meets the Road

Officially, the chapter's title is "Recovering a Sense of Integrity." But for me, this is where things start getting real. First off, SPOILER ALERT! This is the chapter where Julia reveals something kinda important. So if you haven't been following along and doing your morning pages, artist's date and chapter tasks, you might want to STOP HERE, turn around and go back to Chapter One or wherever you left off. I say this because I'm not sure if finding out this key piece of information without doing the exercises up to this point will ruin it's effectiveness. Okay?

You've been warned. Proceed at your own risk.

"If you want to work on your art, work on your life" ~ Chekhov

That seems to be the theme of Chapter 4. Julia adds this juicy morsel to that, "In order to have self expression, we must first have a self to express."

So here's the spoiler, folks. The you that's been showing up every day in your morning pages, that's the real you. Yup, the whiny, complainy, angry, irritated one? That's you.

The one that puts a smile on and says, Everything's fine; the accepting, nice, tolerant self is just the self you put on for show.

But if you knew that piece of info to begin with and were instructed to write down your real feelings in your morning pages, rather than getting, Whatevs. Just write down whatever pops in your head, no biggie, you'd be editing yourself there too. So Julia comes at this sideways, trying to sidestep our mental editor into revealing ourselves to ourselves. Make sense?

The point of the morning pages is to get us passed It's okay, when it's really not. And you know those days when you just don't want to do them or just don't do them at all, it's probably because if you did, you'd gain some unpleasant piece of clarity about yourself. If you're like me, when you are emotionally triggered by anything at all, you're not going to want to do the morning pages. I try rationalizing my evasive maneuvers -- I'm running late, it's too cold, it's too early -- by telling myself that wallowing in whatever crap I'm feeling is just going to make it worse anyway. But the truth is that writing all of it down, unedited, is one of the best way to process and then reflect on what's going on in my internal world.

Here's the kicker for all of us artists. If we don't connect with our emotions, there is no art.

Sorry, folks. It's the truth. I spent the first 36 years of my life convincing myself that everything was okay because I didn't want to feel any discomfort, pain or suffering. That's all well and good except that when you block out all that stuff, you don't feel anything at all. You don't feel love, joy, connection.... and then life is what? Just sleeping, eating and laundry.

Remember my earlier post about my false beliefs about artists. You don't have to suffer to be an artist. But you do have to feel something. And that, requires feeling whatever suffering comes along with the other stuff. If you've ever watched Finding Nemo, one of my favorite lines is where Nemo's dad says, "I promised him that I would never let anything happen to him." And Dori says, "That's a funny thing to promise. Then nothing will ever happen to him."

On the plus side, when I consistently do my morning pages, I don't just get the problems, I usually get clarity and I get answers too. Again, there are lots of people who subscribe to this method of raising self-consciousness. One of my favorites is Janet Conner, author of Writing Down Your Soul.

Now you see why I say everything starts getting real right here in Chapter 4? Thoughts might start to appear in morning pages like "I have outgrown this job/home/marriage/friend." Eek.

Julia says the process of knowing ourselves involves loss as well as gain. We clarify what of ourselves is real and what is illusory... and this kind of clarity creates change. Does that sound scary to you? That's okay. I mean, it's okay to admit that you're scared of it, you don't have to say that it's okay. :)

I have no reassurances to offer except that if you keep going, the prize at the end is YOU. For some people, that's worth it.

Chapter 4's task: Reading Deprivation. Another eek! I know, right?

Julia says words are like tiny tranquilizers for most artists. If we give up reading, we force ourselves into the sensory world. Another way to think about it is to get out of your head! Reading is a great way to fill our heads with other people's thoughts so that we can avoid our own thoughts and feelings. So. NO READING! The book was written before the internet (I know!!!) So that means... no Twitter, no Facebook, no Medium. And if the point is to be fully present, I'm making the assumption that this means no media as well.

You can be scared.

Of course, I'm also doing a 5-day cleanse right now. No food, no reading. What the heck will I do with myself?!?!?! Julia has some suggestions:
Listen to music
Wash the dog
Sort closets
Write friends
Repot plants
Pay bills

Okay, I'm sure we can come up with better suggestions!!! Mend. She actually suggests "mend."
Sorry, I'm a little crabby, I'm at the end of Day 2 of 5.

Check in if you wish... how many days have you done your morning pages? Artist's date? Any experiences of synchronicity to report

 I'll signing off the blog until next week's check-in... since you won't be READING until next week, right? :)













Bigger is Better?


Henry got a piece printed for me... really big! <3

It's going in my office as soon as I we can figure out how to hang it. I'm just thrilled that it held up, since I created it at 8x8.

I submitted a slate/blue version for West Elm. If you feel like voting for me, I'd appreciate it. Voting ends on Wednesday. There are over 5,200 entries in this challenge. It's kinda crazy.

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Where I'm From

In Chapter 3, in addition to the ongoing precautions against toxic people and harsh critics, Julia invites to recover our sense of self by, quite literally, remembering who we are.

What did you love to do as a child?
Where did you go to feel safe?
What would you do for fun?
What did you do that made you lose track of time?

These are my own questions as I don’t have the book in front of me but you get the idea. 20 years ago, In the margins of my book, I had scribbled ride my bike. Draw.

When was the last time I rode a bike?! Hmmm... like almost a year ago! I used to have these fantasies about riding my bike to work. But considering that it’s uphill both ways.... :)

It’s noteworthy that so many people have to go back so far into their past to tap into JOY. Perhaps as adults we make it overly complicated. I think we have a tendency to conflate “joy” with “fulfillment” or something more all encompassing. I look at my own children and envy the ease with which they can just be really joyful. When they are doing that thing that they love, they aren’t planning ahead or allowing the thought of tomorrow’s quiz cloud this little spontaneous dance party, or whatever it is that they are feeling really good about right now.

Anyway, these are great questions.

There's a similar exercise that I've adapted from a poem called Where I’m From by Georgia Ella Lyon. My kids love it, as do the Story of You’ers!

You can get creative with it, if you want. Here's my art journal version...


Feel free to download the template for yourself... but promise that when you’ve filled it out, you will read it out loud to yourself! ;P

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Artist's Date: The Public Library




It was yet another busy week at work so I didn't have much time to really step outside my normal routine. I did, however, discover that there's a sweet little branch of the public library just a couple of blocks from my office. So I headed over on my lunch hour and settled in a little nook in the children's section and fell in love with the illustrations in this gem.

Monday, February 2, 2015

Hand-lettered Valentine


It's February!!! Here's a sketch of something I'm working on for Valentine's Day. What do you think?

UPDATE: This is how it turned out AND someone bought it!!! :D

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Chapter 3: Synchronicity and Recovering Your Power

We're on Chapter 3! It's called Recovering Your Sense of Power
How are you doing?
This last week has been frenzied, both at my job and with my art.
I'm squeezing in my artist's date tomorrow. Maybe.
I got this crazy idea to launch a line of printables on Etsy.


If you'll recall in Chapter 2, my boundaries were pretty clear: I love making art but not necessarily manufacturing art or packing or shipping it, which is why Etsy has been a challenge for me in the past. But offering printables is a great solution. I don't have to worry about shipping physical products but this gives me some structure around creating art and an opportunity to engage with fellow artisans on Etsy.

Here's what I got out of Chapter 3: SYNCHRONICITY!
Julia specifically discusses the phenomenon of answered prayers. How does that feel to you? Too weird and woo-woo? (shrugs shoulders). For me, it just happens. All. The. Time.

But just as Julia describes in her book, there's still a part of me that wants to explain it away. You might share this nihilistic tendency. Is there a God? Why would He-She care about my little life and whether or not I stick with my one little word for 2015 to keep drawing letters by hand?

Julia says we are much more afraid that there might be a God than we are that there might not be. We dismiss incidents of synchronicity as pure coincidence, otherwise we would have to consider the possibility that someone is watching! :|

There's actually a bestselling book series called When God Winks that documents such synchronicities.

Okay, here's my list of my God Winks just from the last month or so...

1) The same week I decided to teach myself the craft of lettering and started scouring the interwebs for an impossible-to-find manual, my friend Sharon found one in her vast collection of ephemera and gave it to me as a gift.

2) Although art school was rather damaging to my artistic career, I decided that I really missed the critiquing process and that I would love to recreate that experience of having people who are all working on similar projects that could offer constructive criticism and push me further than I would push myself. Within a week of writing all this down, I discovered Minted and joined.

3) When I started to collect my art goals for 2015, I decided that winning a Minted Art Challenge would be one of them. Of course, there were 2,540 submissions. What were the chances, right? This is why my last post was so significant.

4) One of my other art goals for 2015 was to be a West Elm artist. Wouldn't that be grand? Again, the day after I wrote this in my morning pages, Minted announced their challenge partnership with... wait for it, West Elm! This wasn't necessarily the miraculous part since they'd partnered with them twice before but the timing was. The fact that they had just ended the last art challenge -- everyone was commenting that they never have back-to-back art challenges -- felt to me as if someone had picked up the bat phone!

5) We've already talked about what inspired me to begin reading The Artist's Way again.

Something is happening that I can't quite explain away. I must say that continuing on with the morning pages probably helps me notice these things more than if I hadn't been writing down my "orders to the universe."

Julia says in Chapter 3, "If we do, in fact, have to deal with a force beyond ourselves that involves itself in our lives, they we may have to move into action on those previously impossible dreams."

If things are really happening that are somehow connected with me wanting them to happen... whoa! Perhaps I really am finding my power! The good news is that if lil' ol' me can ask for stuff and have it happen, SO CAN YOU!

More on Chapter 3 to come....